A Series of Peculiar Events
by Chibi Chidori
Summary: Feeling lonely living by himself, Naruto buys a pet parrot for companionship. After a few developments, he deems that the parrot is able to predict the future and begins to follow the bird's advice quite literally. And so begins a series of hilarious, peculiar events. SasuNaru. Collaboration with Riuolo.
1. Chapter 1

Summary: Feeling lonely living by himself, Naruto buys a pet parrot for companionship. After a few peculiar events, he deems that the parrot is able to predict the future and begins to follow the bird's advice quite literally. Yaoi

Disclaimer: Naruto is owned by Kishimoto, Masashi-san. (Although a certain someone may disagree and claim the blond all to himself.)  
><span>Content Disclosure:<span> There will be male-male relationships; if you are uncomfortable with this, please do not continue reading.

_**A Series of Peculiar Events**_

**~Chapter 01~**

**The Outcome Looks Promising**

**~0~**

**B**lue eyes roamed around the quiet apartment. By no means was his home dull; it was decorated with a great number of pictures of his friends, teammates, and people he considered family. There were also numerous potted plants on window sills and stands around the flat. They were luscious and green, proof of their owner's love and care. But despite the decoration and homely appearance, he was a bit…lonely.

Suddenly, there was a cacophonous crash outside his apartment. He looked at the window as silence followed before birds started squawking and cats hissing. He opened the door to his balcony and watched as a cat jumped out from a trash can. He grinned as it meowed and licked it paw before leaving the scene. It was then that it hit him.

Scribbling down on a note in nearly illegible handwriting, he taped it to the front of his door before scampering off towards the center of the town with a large grin on his face.

**~0~**

**H**e was taken aback by all the animals that occupied the store. Sticking to the display glass like a little child, he gaped at the thanks containing the reptiles, amphibians, and fishes. His eyes followed the little glowing fishes before he moved on to the puppy cages, where he played with an Akita pup for a few moments.

"Did you find what you were looking for, sir?"

Naruto turned to see an elderly man smile at him and he returned the gesture. "No, I'm still looking around. It takes a lot of thought to choose a life-long companion, you know?" He grinned and the man nodded in reply before waving him over.

"Well then, there is a separate room for some birds, turtles, and other exotic animals if you want to give them a try," the owner said. He lead Naruto to another door, away from the distracting display of colourful dog toys. Naruto looked at the multiple signs of, "No outside food past this point" and "Be careful not to frighten the animals" before focusing on the man in front of him with excitement. As soon as the two entered the room, there was a loud squawk followed by a flapping of wings. He looked up as a feather glided down slowly and caught it, marveling at the radiant colours.

"Hello!" Naruto jumped and turned to the source of the voice. He looked around for another person, but as he watched the pet shop owner walk out, he tiled his head, puzzled.

"I must be going crazy," he muttered to himself, crossing his arms.

"Hello, crazy!" came a squawk and this time, Naruto found the culprit. There was a grand macaw with feathers a colourful mix of red, blue, and green staring down at him with curious eyes. The blond looked at the creature with a forced grin.

"What did you say?" he said through clenched teeth.

"Hello, crazy!" the bird squawked again. It flapped its wings as it shifted its weight on its perch to get comfortable before staring down at Naruto once more. "Hello, crazy!"

Naruto could feel his eye twitch, growing agitated at the bird who continued to squawk the same mantra. How dare this avian insult him?

"You know what? You-you…You're a bird brain!" The macaw blinked at him and chirped, tilting its head to the side while Naruto mentally bashed his head against the wall. He just told a bird that it was a bird brain. What was he going to do next, tell a cat that it meows?

In a heat of anger, he turned to the bird and glared at it. "Don't insult me, you feathered freak!" Again, he mentally winced. Could he come up with insults worse than the ones he already said? "I am Naruto Uzumaki, the future hokage of this village, and I will not take such degrading words from you!"

"I know your future," the bird replied before hopping to another perch. "I know you!"

The blond looked at the creature skeptically, peering at the tag on its cage.

_Fumi  
>Female<br>Age: 3 Years_

_A great and talkative companion._

"So, you think you know me, Fumi?"

"Future Hokage, Naruto _squawk_ don't insult!" The said man just gaped at the colourful bird, marveling in wonder at how the creature knew his name and dreams (forgetting that he had just stated this information only moments ago).

"Wow, you _do _know about me!" Immediately, he ran out the door and raced to the counter where the elderly man was enjoying his cup of tea. "Sir, please sell me that bird!"

**~0~**

**N**aruto opened the door to his apartment, whistling merrily. He looked down at the cage he was holding with a smile and placed it on a table near a window with luscious plants surrounding it.

"Welcome home, Fumi. I hope you like it. You better not be a fussy little diva, you hear me?" he said sternly. He pointed at the bird, who merely just squawked and tilted its head. He checked all the windows to make sure they were tightly shut and covered the cage's surrounding area with newspapers before opening the cage. Immediately the bird flew to the perk sticking out of her cage and chirped. He chuckled and prepared the food bowl and water feeder in her cage before sitting on the cough. He stared at his new companion for a while before sighing. The silence was a bit unnerving.

"Why are you so quiet now? You were such a big mouth at the store and on the way back," he muttered. He stood up and walked over to her, smiling gently as she waddled closer to him. "Is it because you don't like my home?"

"Ask me anything and I shall tell you your future!" she cried, looking up at him expectantly. Naruto blinked, a bit taken back. He hummed in thought as he paced, throwing glances every so often at the bird. _Might as well give it a try_, he thought. _It couldn't hurt. Besides, she already knew my name when I first met her. She's got to have a special gift!_ With a grin stretching from cheek to cheek, he lowered himself until he was eye level with Fumi, who was now perched on the table. "Hey, Fumi…Should I confess to the person that I like?" he asked, a light blush dusting his cheek. Just thinking about the other made his heart skip a beat and he smiled at the potential future they could have together.

"The outcome looks promising!" Fumi cawed before hopping into her cage to grab a seed from the feeder. Naruto's heart filled with joy and he happily watched his new pet munch away at her snack. Making up his mind, he picked up the phone and dialed a number he memorized too long ago.

"_Hello?_"

Naruto gulped and took a deep breath. This was not the time to get nervous! "Hey, it's Naruto. Do you want to meet up for lunch tomorrow?" There was a slight pause on the other end of the line and he held his breath. _Please say yes, please say yes, __**please **__say yes, _he repeated in his mind.

"_Sure, where and when?_"

"Ichiraku at noon?" Naruto winced at the sigh that followed his words. Maybe he should've picked another eatery?

"_That's fine. See you tomorrow._"

"Bye," Naruto whispered, hanging up the phone. He placed a hand on his stomach to soothe the jittering butterflies and took a few breaths. After he felt his heart beat slow down, he turned to Fumi's cage with a large grin, laughing as he watched her climb her 'jungle bars'. "Fumi, I have a date tomorrow!" he said as he closed her cage.

Okay, so it wasn't an official date, but a man was allowed to dream, no? Beating his chest with his fists, he headed to his room to fantasize some more. He was sure his confession would go over well. He had Fumi's blessings and predictions, after all! With those final thoughts, he plopped onto his bed and waited for sleep to claim him. He just couldn't wait for tomorrow noon to come.

**~0~**

"**H**ey gramps, was Fumi sold?" a little boy asked as he helped his grandfather close the store. He looked towards the elderly man who hummed in thought before snapping his fingers and nodding.

"Yes, she was. Why do you ask?" The boy stared at the man in disbelief, shaking his head.

"Grandpa, did you forget to tell the new owner about Fumi's history and who she used to belong to?" He saw his grandfather shake his head and sighed, pulling down the metal sealing and locking it in place. "Eh, it's all right I suppose."

"But it's always proper to tell the new owner of a pet's past," his grandfather started. "I suppose the young man will come back to ask if he's curious."

The boy just shrugged and grabbed the elderly man's hand before starting their journey home. As long as the new owner wasn't a complete idiot, he guessed everything should be all right.

**~0~**

**A**s Naruto was walking to Ichiraku, his heart was racing in his chest. Many thoughts ran through his mind and it was the first time he could honestly say he gave himself a headache by thinking too much.

_What if he doesn't show?_ His footsteps slowed as the thought of his secret crush not showing to the appointment hurt more than he thought it would. He shook his head as to get rid of the negative thoughts and slapped his face lightly. "Naruto, you can do this! It's just lunch, and you have Fumi's great advice!" The slowed footsteps picked up in pace as they grew firm and determined, but the adrenaline was back as his eyes spotted the famous Ichiraku sign.

What got his heart racing even faster was the figure standing before the eatery. In a panic, Naruto looked at a near clock tower only to see that he indeed was 15 minutes early to their lunch date and not late. Mentally chiding himself to calm down, he grinned a waved at the person.

"Hey, Sasuke! Did you wait long?" The said man turned and looked at him with eyes that held an unknown emotion before giving his infamous Uchiha smirk.

"I'm surprised you're early. I thought you would've slept in." The blond blushed, knowing if it were any other person or situation, he would have indeed slept in until someone had woken him.

"I can be early if I want to," he said, sticking out his tongue playfully. He immediately regretted the decision when he saw the smirk again and wondered if it was too childish or some sort of turn-off. "Well, don't let me keep you waiting, let's eat! I'm starving."

The two headed inside, warmly greeted by the owner and his daughter, before sitting at the booth.

"So what'll you have today, Naruto? The regular?" Naruto hummed in thought and glanced at his companion, who seemed to be looking at the menu thoroughly.

"Sasuke, what are you having?" he asked, leaning in closer to the other male while pretending to look at the menu. He had every item on the paper memorized by now; he had come here far too often for too long not to.

"I think I'll go with the low-sodium miso ramen, extra vegetables please," Sasuke said, confirming with the owner.

"Uncle, give me the same, but without the extra vegetables please!" The owner looked at the blond with a raised brow but said nothing and turned to head into the kitchen to prepare their orders.

Sasuke, on the other hand, looked at his teammate dubiously. "You eat low-sodium ramen, idiot?"

Naruto huffed; if they had any future together, that 'nickname' would be the first thing to go. "I can try and be healthy too, bastard."

Sasuke gave him a look and rested his chin in his hand. "An all-ramen diet is not healthy, no matter what the sodium content is," he replied.

Naruto bit his lip, resisting his urge to reply. He was not here to banter with the Uchiha, but to confess. Who argues right before they make a love confession?

They sat and idly talked – or rather, Naruto talked – about the current news and gossip blazing through Konoha before their orders arrived. "Two orders of low-sodium miso, one extra vegetable!"

Naruto stood, his stool screeching as it moved from its position, and took the two bowls from the owner's hands. "Thank you, uncle!" The bowls were hot and he grabbed them awkwardly, trying to set them down on the stand before them. He watched in horror as one slipped from his hand and fell into the lap of the object of his infatuation. He wanted to cry as Sasuke stood up, hissing in pain as the scalding broth burned his skin and Naruto hurriedly set down the remaining ramen bowl. He grabbed every napkin within his reach and gave some to Sasuke, while dabbing dry at the other wet spots, fighting the urge to find a hole and hide himself from the world. What on earth had he done?

"Sasuke, I'm so sorry I didn't mean for that to happen."

The Uchiha didn't respond, too concerned with preventing any serious burns to his body parts, but gave Naruto a stern look before continuing to dab himself dry. The blond only continued his motion before Sasuke pulled a leg away.

"It's fine, I don't need your help." Naruto felt his heart shatter and cursed the parrot for all eternity; what promising outcome? Fumi was such a liar and he was such an idiot for believing that a bird could predict the future!

"Sasuke, really, I'm so sorry. I'll pay for this meal and I'll get you another one – "

"No, it's fine. Let's just go somewhere else," the Uchiha said. He tossed the soiled napkins into the nearest disposal and walked away, Naruto hastily following. The blond bowed in apology to the Ichiraku owner, who merely looked at the pair in sympathy.

The two walked for some time before they reached the district where Sasuke lived at. Naruto was unsure if he should keep following the man, or if he should go home and cry into his comforter. They reached the door to Sasuke's apartment and the Uchiha headed inside while the blond looked at the entranceway as if there were deathly spikes protruding from it. He wasn't given permission to enter…So does this mean that this is the end of their time together? Were they cursed to be in this teammate relationship for all of eternity?

Naruto wallowed in his miserable thoughts outside the door, before Sasuke's head poked around the corner from the hallway.

"Idiot, what are you doing out there? Come in," he muttered before disappearing again. The blond gave a huge sigh of relief, thankful that the other didn't completely hate him and stepped inside, taking off his shoes and muttering a quiet, "Sorry for the intrusion".

"Sasuke?" he called out into the hallway as he settled into the living room. He looked around and noted how bare the walls were. He reminded himself to ask Sasuke to see if he could decorate the home a little bit; a plant or two wouldn't hurt. "Sasuke, I'm really sorry about what happened earlier."

There was no response and the terrible feeling within Naruto grew. "Really, I'm sorry. I didn't mean for that to happen, and I shouldn't have recommended that place because you don't even like ramen all that much, although I don't understand why – "

"What are you babbling on about, moron?" Sasuke interrupted. Naruto looked up to see his teammate in a new set of clothing and shuffled over to make room on the couch for him.

"I'm not babbling, I'm apologizing! I mean, we went to eat at a place you don't like and I spilled hot soup all over you and it must have really hurt especially around your ba – "

"Please, let's not talk about genitalia," Sasuke bit in once again. The blond smiled sheepishly before continuing.

"But honestly, it must have been really painful! Let me pay for any medical bills if you get any burns or anything, I mean really, anything I can do let me know." The Uchiha looked at him with a raised brow and waited for the other to catch his breath.

"Are you done?"

Naruto nodded and looked at him, clenching fists into the fabric of his pants. "It's all my fault that you got hurt…"

"It's just small burns Naruto, they'll heal in a few days. I've gotten worse on missions, remember?" Instantly, the time at the Hidden Village of the Mist flashed through his mind, and despite himself, the blond felt tears well in his eyes. Damn it, now was not the time to cry.

"But it's all my fault, and I feel bad knowing that I caused you pain. It was just supposed to be simple lunch and…"

"Naruto, look at me." Wiping at his eyes, the said man turned to face the other. Sasuke face flashed with an emotion, too quick for Naruto to catch, before returning to an emotionless expression. "Don't worry about it."

At this, Naruto's tears fell even harder. "But nothing went the way I planned!" he cried. Sasuke, a little taken aback, looked unsure of how to treat this situation. "We were supposed to have lunch together and maybe hang out and spar…_hic_…I was supposed to convince you to treat me-_hic _-to lunch…"

Sasuke rolled his eyes, mentally chuckling. Once an idiot, always an idiot.

"And I was supposed to tell you that…_hic_…that I liked…you…" Naruto mumbled, whispering the last part. The other blinked in disbelief, not sure if he heard the blond correctly.

"Say that again?" But instead, Naruto continued to let out the tears, letting the world know that his attempt to confess was an utter failure.

"Hey, idiot. Moron, stop crying," Sasuke said, grabbing Naruto by the shoulders. The blond continued to silently shed tears and he sighed before giving a quick, but tender kiss to Naruto's forehead. Shocked, the blond stared at the Uchiha with a dazed look, tears and snot still running down his face and Sasuke couldn't help but laugh at the sight. Naruto, mistaking the laughter as a joke shoved his friend away.

"That was a cheap joke, you bastard. After I just confessed to you – " Instantly, he was silenced once more as Sasuke dove in for a swift peck on the lips.

"It wasn't a joke, idiot."

"But you laughed…" Sasuke couldn't help but let out a snort.

"Have you looked at yourself in the mirror? You look disgusting."

Despite the hesitant hope that was slowly starting to bubble up in his stomach, Naruto couldn't help but take offense to this. "Jerk! I-I look _fine_. I'd say you're just jealous of my superior amazingness," he boasted hotly, sticking his nose high in the air. Unfortunately, this caused aforementioned nose—runny from all of the crying he'd been doing—to clog, and he immediately started to sneeze.

Sasuke rolled his eyes at Naruto's antics. "Whatever you say. Now, follow me and I'll get you some tissues. You think I want the person I like to be a blubbering mess?" He began walking towards another room, presumably to where the tissues were.

"That is—wait," Naruto abruptly cut off his own retort, teary eyes widening. "You… What did you just say?" He could feel relief and happiness, both wanting desperately to swoop through his body. He somehow managed to keep them at bay, however; he needed Sasuke's confirmation.

Sasuke paused, his hunched shoulders uncomfortably stiff. "Don't make me repeat myself," he finally said, seemingly unable to bring himself to turn around and look at Naruto. With that said, he started to walk forward again.

Poor Sasuke wasn't able to get very far, though. At the words, the emotions that Naruto had been holding back swept through his body with a force that surprised even him. A wide smile quickly lit up his face and he jumped forward, tackling Sasuke to the ground in his glee. They both landed on the ground with an audible _thump_.

"Ouch! Damn it, you!" Sasuke exclaimed from the ground, wincing. "What did you do that for?" he demanded, trying to get up and shake the persistent blond from off of his back, but ultimately failing.

Naruto smile seemed to widen impossibly more. "I like you, Sasuke! I really, really like you!" he yelled happily. He held onto Sasuke tighter, unwilling to let him go.

Reluctantly, a small, gentle smile crossed Sasuke's expression. "Yeah…" he agreed softly. Then, in spite of what he had earlier said about not repeating himself, he continued, "I like you, too, moron."

**~0~**

"**F**umi, I'm home!" Naruto cheerfully called out as he closed the door to his apartment. He heard her mimicking cries echo through the room and hurried to her, a smile on his face. As he rounded the corner, his smile only widened as he saw her perched near the cage door somewhat expectantly.

"Hello crazy," she cawed, before fixing a ruffled feather back into its place. The blond twitched before he checked her feeders to make sure they weren't running low and changed the newspapers while whistling, laughing as the avian sang along.

"You know Fumi, you were right," Naruto started. The said bird climbed her jungle bars to meet his eye level and chirped, to which he laughed again. "Remember how I asked you if I should confess to Sasuke?"

"Your outcome looks promising," she cawed and he nodded enthusiastically.

"That's right, it was definitely a promising outcome!" he all but shouted, plopping onto the nearby couch, grabbing the stray pillow. As he remembered the day's event he laughed into the material before turning around to peek at his companion.

"Fumi, I think you and I will make great history together."

"Outcome looks promising!"

**~Chapter 01 – End – 2011.10.10~**

**Chibi Chidori's Nonsense: **

Hello everyone! I feel really bad uploading a new project when I haven't updated my other projects in a few months, but since it was Naruto's birthday, I really wanted to get something released. And what better than a joint project between the wonderful **Riuolo**, my beta, and I? :D We're both very excited for this project, as we have tons of great ideas for it and it should be a fun read. The life of Naruto with a future-predicting parrot, what could be better?

Anyhow, please send many things towards **Riuolo**'s way, as without her, this fic would probably be very miserable. xD Hopefully with two people working on this project, it would be updated faster than my other projects (fingers crossed).

Thank you all for reading, and please leave a review and let us know what you think!

Cheers,

**Chibi Chidori + Riuolo**


	2. Chapter 2

**A Series of Peculiar Events**

-:-:-:-:-

**Chapter 02**

**Always Two There Are, No More, No Less**

-:-:-:-:-

**Content Disclosure: **Some pillow and book abuse ahead. But no actual items were harmed!

-:-:-:-:-

**C**himes rang in the wind and Naruto gave a sigh as he looked down at the mission logs before him. Since Tsunade's public announcement of making him the next Hokage 2 months ago, she had been training him to prepare for the position, which he would overtake in a few months time. However, her definition of "training" meant to leave Naruto with all of the paper work while she went out for a drink.

He rested his head against the desk, his arms sprawled out as he gave a whine.

"Why does she have to leave the work with _me_?"

"This is going to be a lot of what you're doing once you take over the position, so you better get used to it," a voice said, interrupting Naruto's miserable cries. The blond peaked an eye and scowled.

"Hello to you too. I'm hurt by that greeting, after all that we went through? Maa, Naruto, I thought I taught you to treat your elders better than that."

"Kakashi-sensei, you didn't teach me anything but how to give stupid excuses when late! You even went to go drink with her!" Naruto sat up and grabbed another mission log to read before stopping to glare at his former teacher.

"In fact, you were the one who suggested to her to dump this all on me and go drinking in the first place! This is all your fault!" Kakashi merely swatted his hand at him, as if to shoo away the accusations.

"Think of it as training. She wanted to go drinking anyway, I merely created an opportunity for her to go. And it's great to get a head start on what you're actually going to be doing." The sound of ceramic shattering was heard as he dodged the paper weight that was thrown at him.

"Now now, that's dangerous Naruto. Don't go throwing things around like that, someone could get seriously hurt." He shifted slightly to the right as a kunai whizzed past his ear and embedded itself into the wall behind him.

"Is that how you're going to treat me?" Kakashi repeated, lifting his hand to wipe an imaginary tear. "I even fed your pet bird for you. We had a lovely conversation, by the way. And she seemed pretty intent on believing that you were crazy although I don't know-"

"GET OUT!" Naruto shrieked, and without another word the man left the office before other hazardous things were thrown at him with an intent to kill. The blond huffed out in anger before plopping back into his chair and grabbed the mission log that he was reading before. His eyes skimmed it before it narrowed in annoyance.

The mission log before him detailed all past, completed, current, and future requests for the month by the one and only Uchiha, Sasuke. Naruto felt the thickness of the stapled document and gave a sigh, dropping back into his chair. He had thought that Sasuke had been on more missions as of late, but he waved off the thought as him having early relationship jitters. But seeing the evidence before him, and the amount of requests he put in...His chest tightened uncomfortably.

Was this a way for Sasuke to get away from him?

His grip on the pen he was holding grew tight. They had been dating for 6 months and Naruto smiled as he remembered their miserable first date at the ramen shop as if it were yesterday. But the past month, Sasuke had scarcely been around, and whenever he was, he would be too tired to do anything but eat and sleep. He felt rather...distant, and Naruto was scared that this was a sign of their end.

He shook his head to rid himself of the frightening thought. This couldn't be the end; he loved Sasuke too much. But what if he didn't feel the same?

Naruto bit his lip and was so lost in thought that he didn't feel the presence of another enter the room.

"I'm here to deliver the report on my latest miss- Naruto? What are you doing here?" The said man looked up and momentarily froze. There was the person haunting his very thoughts right now.

"S-Sasuke!" he winced as his voice cracked, hoping that his lover didn't catch it. "What brings you here?"

Sasuke looked at Naruto confused and shifted his weight, holding a stack of papers.

"I'm here to give my mission report to hokage-sama...Which brings me to my first question. What are you doing here, and where did she go?" He gave the blond a look as if to say, 'What did you do now' and Naruto laughed nervously.

"Well, I didn't do anything so get rid of those thoughts. That stupid woman went off drinking and dumped all the work on me, calling it 'training'. So until she finishes her drunken escapades, I'm temporarily taking over her paperwork duties." He saw Sasuke sigh and gave a shrug of his own.

"Well, here's my report then." A pile of paper was dropped onto his desk, adding to his work and Sasuke turned to leave.

"Wait, Sasuke!" The said man turned and raised an eyebrow, prodding the future hokage to continue. Naruto blinked as he tried to figure out why he stopped the man, before he bit his lip and just smiled weakly.

"Dinner is still on for tonight, right?" The Uchiha smirked and walked up to him before planting a kiss on his forehead.

"Of course, idiot."

He walked out on a dazed Naruto who touched his forehead lovingly before he realized what had just happened.

"Hey, I'm not an idiot, you bastard!"

-:-:-:-:-

**H**e couldn't, for the life of him, focus on the food in front of him. Which was a first, since it was his all time favorite meal.

"Naruto, is something wrong?" The blond was roused from his thoughts and met the concerned eyes of Uchiha, Sasuke. He forced a grin and hastily shoved the noodles into his mouth.

"No, nothing's wrong Sasuke. Why?" he returned, his mouth full of food. Sasuke's nose scrunched in disgust and placed his chopsticks down, appetite suddenly quelled.

"You've been oddly quiet tonight, not that it's a bad thing," he started, taking a sip of this tea before continuing. "I'm just wondering if something's on your mind."

Sasuke looked at Naruto who went back to looking at his bowl of ramen, swishing the noodles around.

"If something's bothering you, it's okay to tell me. Being the idiot you are, I'm sure your mind would implode if you didn't let it out." He hid a smirk as blue eyes glared up at him before their owner shoveled more noodles into his mouth. There was the fiery attitude he loved so much.

"I'm not an idiot, bastard! And thinking won't make my brain explode." Sasuke raised a brow in amusement, as if to mock him.

"I never said anything about your brain or exploding. I merely said that you need to let out your feelings."

"You just said my mind would explode if I didn't let it out!"

"_Im_plode, which means the opposite. And yes, your mind not your brain, moron. You'll only get headaches if you worry uselessly." Another sip of tea.

"It's not useless, and stop calling me names you jerk! I'm bothered for a perfectly good reason!"

"And what is that?" Naruto froze and resisted the urge to bash his head against the table. He unwittingly fell right into Sasuke's trap. _That arrogant prick! He played me._ He noticed the smirk on his lover's face and grit his teeth, growing even more agitated before he settled down as he thought back to why he was so bothered in the first place.

He mumbled something incoherently and it took all of Sasuke's endurance to lean over the table to hear clearer. Be damned if he was going to be caught looking like a fool.

"Want to say that again, so that I can hear you this time?" Naruto gave him a look and huffed, crossing his arms before clearing his throat to speak again.

"I said, I was worrying about whether or not you loved me anymore."

Sasuke blinked and his blank stare caused Naruto to grow extremely heated, blushing to a dark shade of red. "I'd say that's a reason to be worried." Even with that small consolidation he said for himself, the blond couldn't help but blush even more, if possible and wanted to sink into his chair. _Damn it, this is so embarrassing. Here I was, worrying and looking like an idiot._

He grabbed his chopsticks and shoveled more of the ramen into his mouth, trying hard to fight the blush from his cheeks. Then something happened that even he, the number one surprising ninja in all of Konohagakure, wouldn't have expected.

A laugh from the (seemingly) emotionless Sasuke Uchiha.

It was a small 'snerk' sound, that was quickly muffled by a pale hand but those shaking shoulders ruined all attempts made to hide what was happening. Sasuke Uchiha was laughing.

"It's not funny, you asshole! I was seriously worried!" Naruto flushed an even _darker _shade of red and wanted to disappear. He got up and placed money on the table, thanking the cook behind the counter for the meal. "If all you're going to do is laugh, I'm leaving," he huffed.

He left the eatery, ignoring the scraping noises of a chair against the floor and walked quickly into the direction of his apartment. He wasn't going to slow down for the stupid Uchiha, who was laughing at him! And to think, he was worried...

"Naruto, wait." An arm grabbed his and the blond shook it off, continuing to walk. "Hey, idiot, I said to wai-"

"Why should I wait, Sasuke? For you to laugh at me more?" he said, turning around in anger. "I was worrying all day, like an idiot because I wanted this relationship to last. I'm sorry if I'm the only one who cares about us at all!"

He turned and started storming off to his apartment again, only to be stopped once again. "Let go of me-"

"Who said you were the only one who cared?" The dead seriousness of his voice made Naruto hesitate and he turned around to meet earnest eyes. "Who said you were the only one who cared about this relationship?" he repeated.

The blond shifted uncomfortably, not expecting this attitude from Sasuke and looked at anywhere but his lover. Now that he had the opportunity to speak with the topic at hand, he was unsure what to say.

"Well can you blame me?" he grumbled, biting his lip. "You haven't been around often and you keep requesting for more missions. I thought you were avoiding me or something."

He heard Sasuke sigh and looked up to see the other man run a hand through his hair. "I'm dating a moron," he muttered.

"'m not a moron..." he retorted, glad that the awkward mood had been broken somewhat. He could be serious, sure, but it didn't mean he enjoyed those situations. He preferred scenarios where everyone was laughing and having fun.

The Uchiha didn't respond and just grabbed the other's hand before walking towards the blond's house. Naruto just followed silently, looking at their entwined hands before another blush crossed his cheeks.

Sasuke's hand was warm.

They walked in silence until they were in front of the apartment complex that Naruto lived in, before the Uchiha stopped. He turned around and wrapped Naruto in a hug, and they stood in that embrace for a few moments, not wanting to break the calm, loving atmosphere that settled between them.

"Don't ever think that I'll fall out of love with you, Naruto. You mean everything to me." The said man buried his face into the crook of Sasuke's neck, grip tightening on the man's clothes. "Don't worry, and just trust me, all right?"

Naruto felt Sasuke's grip slack and looked up to meet clear, honest eyes. Sasuke never looked like this in front of other people, and it made butterflies flutter in the blond's stomach, knowing that he was the only person who got to see this side of his lover.

"Okay...But at least tell me why you're requesting so many missions, stupid jerk." He turned away, feigning annoyance, refusing to give the Uchiha the satisfaction of seeing the blond flustered by this unusually gentle side. A pale cupped his cheek and turned his head.

"Hey, wha-"

He was silenced as his lips met Sasuke's in a soft, chaste kiss. It was quick and brief, but it didn't fail to catch his breath away. They parted, and Naruto was dazed before his lips were caught in another kiss, deeper and more sensual, but was just as loving.

"Just know that I'm saving up for something, all right stupid?" And just as quickly as the first kiss had come, the Uchiha disappeared, leaving the blond in a light trance.

The blond gently touched his lips, remembering the kisses that he was given before heading into his apartment.

He had just opened the door before Fumi greeted him noisily.

"Hello crazy!" she squawked and instead of answering with an insult of his own, he just smiled at the bird.

"Hi Fumi," he greeted back and opened her cage, allowing her to stretch her wings. "I just had a pretty nice bonding experience with Sasuke."

He gave her a seed and stroked her feathers once she took it from his hands. "You know," he continued. "He said that he was taking all those missions to save up money for something. I was worrying for nothing." He chuckled to himself before plopping down on the couch. He felt the slight scrape of Fumi's claws as she landed on his stretched out arms and peaked an eye at her.

"Hey Fumi, you think Sasuke's saving up to get me a present?"

"Always two there are, no more, no less!" she squawked in reply, flapping her wings. He raised a brow at her, the line sounding familiar but he nodded enthusiastically.

"Two presents? Why, he's pretty generous, isn't he?" He grinned when the bird squawked in what he assumed in agreement. "Well, after all of the worrying that jerk put me through, it's the least he can do! I wonder what I'm going to get," Naruto said, happily contemplating this as he spoke. Maybe that kick-ass kunai he'd been eyeing earlier? Oh! Maybe it was a bunch of ramen! He hoped it was a bunch of ramen.

Naruto looked distinctly like the cat that caught the canary, and he only righted his expression when Fumi started to back away from him.

-:-:-:-:-

**I**t was the next day when Sasuke and Naruto were taking a break from their duties and strolling around Konoha that Naruto decided to try and get some information out of Sasuke. He had never been one for surprises, at least when he was the one getting surprised.

"So," Naruto said slyly, glancing at Sasuke from the corner of his eyes, "you said that you were saving up for something."

Sasuke nodded. "Yes."

Naruto frowned. Couldn't Sasuke take a hint? He wanted to know what Sasuke was buying for him already! "I bet it's something nice, if you have to save for it," he said, trying to hint at Sasuke to just tell him what his presents were already.

But then Sasuke grinned, and it was so... _evil_ looking, that Naruto could only stare. "Oh, it is," Sasuke replied, and Naruto didn't like that glint in his eyes.

After that, Naruto couldn't muster up the courage to question Sasuke any further.

Naruto wasn't one to give up, however. They didn't call him the show-off, number one unpredictable noisy ninja for nothing, damn it! Sasuke couldn't keep this secret from him!

So if Sasuke wouldn't tell Naruto what he was planning on getting him, Naruto would just have to influence his decision. He'd be getting that huge pot of ramen yet!

"Oh, would you look at that," Naruto exclaimed, putting on his best 'surprised' face. "It's Ichiraku's! I didn't realize we were in this part of town. Silly me, I must have been spacing out." Man, Naruto was a good liar. If you asked him, he should win an award.

Sasuke, for his part, simply looked resigned. "Naruto, you suddenly grabbed me by the arm and dragged me over here."

Oh, snap. "I do not recall any such event," Naruto said, eyes shifting about.

Sasuke held up his suddenly red arm.

For half a beat, Naruto was stumped on how to respond to this piece of evidence, but then Naruto got over it.

"Well, since we're already here we might as well go inside!" Naruto proclaimed joyfully, latching onto Sasuke's arm again and ignoring it when Sasuke let out a pained hiss.

It wasn't long before they were eating, and that was when Naruto decided to lay it on thick. "You know," he started conversationally between mouthfuls of noodles, "I really love ramen."

Sasuke rolled his eyes. "I know you do, Naruto," he replied.

"Like," Naruto paused for dramatic effect, "_really_ love it."

"And the sky is blue. What is it you're trying to say, Naruto?" Sasuke asked, eyeing him suspiciously.

"Nothing," Naruto replied innocently. "It's just—noodles, Sasuke. Ramen."

Suddenly, Sasuke looked the tiniest bit mischievous. "Naruto," he said, leaning in so he was only inches away from Naruto's face. "If you wanted to _do it_, then all you had to do was say something."

For a long time, all Naruto could do was stare uncomprehendingly at Sasuke. What was he even talking about?

And then it clicked into place.

"Pervert!" Naruto screeched, violently pushing Sasuke away before he could do anything about it. Sasuke toppled out of his chair.

Naruto quickly stood over him, and indignant look on his face. "I wasn't talking about sex, you bastard! It's just...! Presents! And ramen and a kunai...! NO, NOT THAT KIND OF KUNAI, YOU PERVERT!"

Even though Sasuke was sprawled haphazardly on the floor, he still managed to give his trademark Uchiha smirk.

"STOP GIVING ME THAT LOOK!" Naruto yelled, arms flailing.

"I don't know what you're talking about," Sasuke replied, that same smirk on his face as he got back onto his feet.

Naruto backed up. "That look! That one right there! The one you're giving me _right now_!"

"I still don't know what you're talking about," Sasuke said dismissively, hand-waving away Naruto's panic. "Now, do you want your present or not?"

Naruto paused. He did want a present, but... Was this a trick? He shot Sasuke a suspicious look. "You're not trying to mess with me, are you?" he asked bluntly.

"No. In fact," Sasuke paused to look at the clock, and his creepy grin widened, "I think it should be at the house now."

Naruto didn't completely trust Sasuke, but he seemed truthful enough. "Okay," Naruto agreed. "But it had better be good!"

They paid for their food and Sasuke whisked Naruto off to his house. Sasuke seemed strangely excited about what he was giving Naruto, and Naruto was instantly suspicious. There wasn't much he could do, however, especially when Sasuke all but threw Naruto into his house.

Naruto was quickly led to a table where a somewhat large package was lying. Naruto's eyes widened. Lots of ramen could fit in a package that big!

"Well, what are you waiting for? Open it," Sasuke said. If Naruto's eyes weren't so glued on the present, he would have been more suspicious of the look on Sasuke face.

Not needing any further prompting, Naruto practically jumped the package and started tearing at the wrapping. "You got me ramen, didn't you? All the ramen I can eat! Thank you, Sasuke! I lo... What the hell is this?" Naruto stared blankly down at the contents of the box, eyes disbelieving. It _couldn't_ be... Sasuke wouldn't have...

"This," Sasuke began, and Naruto wanted to throttle him for the pride in his voice, "is a body pillow."

Naruto continued to stare, his expression strangely blank. "Why does it..." Naruto seemed to be having trouble getting the words out. He paused and shook his head.

Finally, Naruto spit it out. "_Why_ does it have a full-body picture of you?"

"I custom ordered it. This way you'll have something to hug at night when I'm away and you're feeling lonely," Sasuke revealed. He sounded quite proud of himself.

And then all hell broke loose.

When Naruto finally came back to his senses, his fury mostly let out on the poor, beaten form of Sasuke in front of him, he stomped angrily back to his apartment. It wasn't long before he arrived, slamming the door behind him and badly startling Fumi, who let out an indignant _squawk_.

"'Don't worry and just trust me' he says!" Naruto fumed. "Who the hell gets someone a present like that? That pervert! I don't need a pillow of him to friggin' hug!" He angrily kicked off his shoes.

Fumi, who obviously had no sense of self-preservation, called out, "Moron!"

Naruto's mouth dropped open. "Now you're using the insults the bastard always throws at me? Fumi..." Naruto cracked his knuckles dangerously. "I'll make a stew out of you."

As Naruto stalked over to Fumi, she started frantically fluttering about before desperately saying, "Always two there are, no more, no less! Always two there are, no more, no less!"

This caused Naruto to pause, remembering their earlier conversation. That was right... Sasuke was supposed to get him two presents. So where was the second? There had only been the pillow in the box. That meant...

There was still a chance that he was getting some free ramen!

Suddenly much more happy, Naruto started lounging around the house, whistling a merry tune as he enjoyed the rest of his day. Just as he was contemplating going outside to do a little training, the doorbell rang.

"Coming!" Naruto called before getting up. He opened his door, only to find no one there. He blinked. "Huh?" he said to himself, confused. Was someone playing a prank on him?

Then he looked down and spied a familiar package on his doorstep.

"SASUKE!"

-:-:-:-:-

**I**t was early in the morning when Naruto woke up. He yawned noisily, scratching at his stomach before looking towards the table where his companion was still sleeping away. He smiled as he saw Fumi's head tucked under her wing and stretched again.

"G'morning, Fumi..." he mumbled out. He plopped back onto the bed, closing his eyes and allowing the waves of temptation to sleep to come over him. He spread out his arms to take in the entirety of the bed before he felt a lump at his side. He struggled to open his eyes and looked to his side, blankly staring as his mind was still hazed with sleep.

Immediately he shot up, eyes focused on the object beside him and he glared.

"Stupid pervert," he grumbled, grabbing the pillow. He hadn't had the heart to throw out a gift from his lover, no matter how much he hated it, and ended up taking it in last night. He frowned at the pillow and dropped it on the sheets before grabbing his own and smacking the image with it. "You stupid asshole!" _Thwack _"Pervert!" _Thwack_ "Who says I get lonely?" _Thwack thwack thwack_. He continued to rant at the abused body pillow, hitting the item with the pillow in his hands on every syllable and continued to do this for a good several minutes.

He was slightly out of breath by the time he was done and he tossed his pillow-turned-weapon to the side. He continued to glare at the wrinkled cover of the body pillow and groaned. The smug smirk on the bastard's face was driving him mad.

He plopped the body pillow on its side and mimicked the pose of the image of his lover. He layed on his side, propping his elbow so he could rest his head in his hand and stared. Sasuke's image was doing the same, except for the damn smirk on the bastard's face that continued to rile Naruto.

"Bastard, _what_ are you looking at?" he shrieked. The image continued to smirk that _annoying _smirk and Naruto huffed, turning to lay on his back. He crossed his arms and stared at the ceiling, ignoring Fumi's small 'caws' as she was disturbed from her sleep. Silence settled like a blanket in his room as his pet avian seemed to go back to sleep and suddenly, the silence became a bit overwhelming.

Without looking at the pillow, he grabbed it and hugged it close to him, turning to his side as he did so. He took in the scent of the pillow, noting that it smelled like the cologne he bought for Sasuke as a present a while back before they started dating. He pulled back, against his better judgement, to look at the picture of his lover and swore.

That bastard's smug smirk was mocking him, as if saying, "I knew you'd give in and hug me eventually." He grumbled and planted his face into the cotton fabric of the cover before his mind began to drift off, feeling less lonely than he had before.

His eyes began to shut as sleep attempted to claim him once more and snuggled into his pillow, wrapping his legs around the object as he allowed to sleep to overcome him.

Or so he thought.

"Is this an odd fetish that I should be worried about?"

Immediately Naruto shot out of bed and shoved the pillow to the side and under the covers, hoping that by hiding it from view it would have erased itself from existence. He glared at the nin who was squatting on the windowsill and fought the blush that threatened to color his cheeks.

"Kakashi, what the hell are you're doing in my room?" The mentor merely shrugged.

"Your window was open," he drawled, one eye observing the blond, "and the Hokage wanted me to summon you."

Naruto twitched, remembering the ordeal he was put through yesterday. "What does she want?"

Kakashi shrugged again and the blond could see the shape of his mouth under the mask turn into a grin. "More training, I suppose. It's not my place to ask why she's summoning people working under her."

A lone eye made its way to the lump that was haphazardly thrown under the covers before closing as the man smiled. "Well, I'll see you later then, Naruto." He turned and prepared to jump off the ledge before he turned back, eyebrows raised almost pervertedly.

"And if you're that lonely to want a substitute, I recommend making a shadow clone and making it transform. It's much more..." he paused, looking for the right word before giving Naruto a look that sent shivers down the blond's spine. "Realistic."

With those words, he jumped off the ledge and out of sight. Naruto just stared at the spot his mentor had occupied only moments before and then suddenly sputtered, a dark blush taking coloring his face.

"You _pervert!_" he screamed out the window before slamming it shut. Why the hell were all the people surrounding him such damn perverts?

-:-:-:-:-

**B**y late afternoon, Naruto was in a dark, foul mood. His eyes roamed the paper he was currently looking at before putting it into a pile on his right. He glanced at the clock and groaned, slamming his head into the desk. He still had one more hour to go before he was allowed to leave. Stupid long hours...he was hungry, damn it!

As soon as he stepped into the office earlier that day, Tsunade plopped him into the chair behind the desk and instructed him on the work he was supposed to finish for today. She then gallivanted her way to the door before Naruto stopped her with a question.

"And just where are you going?" She had sent him a smirk and sung out the words of her location before closing the door behind her as she left.

Which was why he was here now, doing her paperwork. Again. He fought the urge to scream. Why was he here doing the stupid paperwork about the condition of people's _yards_ when it was the hokage's job? And even more, why the hell was she shoving all of this work on to him? It wasn't fair that he was stuck doing cumbersome work that wasn't meant for him while that foul lady was enjoying herself at an all day spa. He slammed his head against the desk again and felt a little better. But only a little.

"You're going to lose the few brain cells you have if you keep doing that, moron." Naruto looked up and scowled, but his dreadful mood lessened a bit.

"My brain is just fine Sasuke, thank you very much." The said man handed him the mission report he was holding before grabbing a chair from the side and pulled up next to Naruto.

"What's wrong with you today? Run out of ramen at home?" Naruto frowned and picked up the report that was dropped onto his desk, not answering the question. Even though he actually _did_ run out of ramen that morning when he checked.

"Nothing's wrong," he muttered, before putting the mission report in his 'completed' pile after signing it. He let out a sigh and leaned back in the chair before looking over at Sasuke. "Did you know that the pillow smells like your cologne?"

"...What?"

Naruto straightened in his chair and swiveled it to face Sasuke head on. "Did you know," he said slowly, licking his dry lips. He cleared his throat before he continued, "that the pillow smells like your cologne?"

Sasuke stared at him and Naruto coughed into his hand, red coloring his cheeks. He looked at his desk and fiddled with some papers, straightening them out before he heard his lover spoke. And he could _hear _the smirk that was probably plastered on the bastard's face.

"You used the pillow." It was more of a statement than a question.

He sputtered and refused to look Sasuke in the eye. "I didn't use it. I'm just asking you if you knew that your pillow smelled like your cologne."

"And you would only know that if you hugged the pillow."

Naruto's blush darkened. "I didn't hug it! You can smell the cologne from a mile away," he said, plugging his nose with a hand and wafting away an imaginary scent with the other to emphasize the point. "Only an idiot would cuddle with that stupid thing."

If possible, Sasuke's smirk became even more mocking than it already was.

"Oh, so you cuddled it?" The blond rambled inaudible words, most likely expletives, but Sasuke ignored it. "You know you can only smell the cologne if you hug it, because it's the cotton that was sprayed with the scent and not the cover."

Naruto stared at him incredulously before grabbing a random book from the desk and began to whack Sasuke with it.

"You bastard! I can't believe you actually made it so you would know if I used it or not!" Sasuke, in feeble attempts to protect himself, raised his arms up to guard his face. But the attempts were also half-hearted.

"Naruto-" Sasuke started, ignoring the whacks made to his body with every word.

"All I wanted was a box of ramen! RAMEN-"

"Naruto-" he tried again.

"-some fucking perverted bastard of a boyfriend gives me a stupid-"

"Naruto-" And again.

"-perverts everywhere! Climbing in through windows! And is a box of ramen that hard to get? Ungrateful bast-"

"Naruto-" A little bit more firmly, this time.

"-upid excuse of a boyfriend who doesn't give a shit-"

"Naruto!" Sasuke said, raising his voice a bit. But it seemed to have gotten the blond's attention.

"WHAT?" Naruto stopped his abuse but was unprepared for the sudden kiss that Sasuke pulled him into. The Uchiha's lips moved against his, nibbling on his bottom lip and he sighed into the kiss, dropping the book and putting his arms around his lover's neck. They continued to kiss, each kiss growing more fervent and passionate before Sasuke pulled away ever so slowly. Naruto's eyes were still closed, but a smile was on his lips and he felt Sasuke's forehead touch his own.

"Are you done being mad now?" Naruto's eyes opened and his eyes met Sasuke's gaze. He glowered, but there was no anger behind it.

"No."

Something pressed into his hand and Naruto looked down to see Sasuke place a small envelope in his hand.

"Meet me here after you close up the office, okay?" And with those words, he vanished.

Naruto just stood there, lips swollen from their kissing session and sat down. His hand raised to his face as he turned red for the umpteenth time that day and groaned. Stupid bastard always got away with everything.

The clock chimed seven times, signaling that it was time to close up. Naruto stood, leaving everything in its place, not caring if Tsunade had to clean up after him in the morning. She deserved it anyway, that lazy hag. He shut the office doors behind him, locking it, before walking towards the exit. He looked at the small envelope Sasuke gave him and opened it, confused when there was only a written address with a key attached to a three-dimensional frog figurine.

Why would he need a key?

He shrugged and head off to the location, which wasn't far and became extremely confused when he stopped in front of a house. It wasn't a restaurant, like he expected it to be, nor was Sasuke's apartment. It wasn't a house that belonged to anybody he knew.

He knocked at the door, silence only answering him. He tried the knob, frowning when it was locked. He fished for the key in his pocket and gave a triumphant grin when the door unlocked. Even though it was odd that he was meeting at a strange home, and even more-so that he needed a key. But he shoved that thought aside.

He walked in to see and saw Sasuke's shoes at the entryway. "Hello?" he called out, shaking off his own shoes and venturing down the hallway. He arrived in what seemed to be a living room and was greeted with the sight of a smirking Sasuke - damn his _stupid _smirk - sitting at a couch.

"Took you long enough."

Naruto gave him an annoyed look before looking around. "Hey Sasuke, what is this place?"

He heard the other shift from the couch and turned to look as the man approached him. Their eyes met in a soft gaze and a slightly awkward silence engulfed the two. Naruto shifted, fidgeting slightly, but not once did he break his gaze with the other.

"Sasuke...?" After what seemed like eternity to the blond, the said man moved and pulled him into a hug.

"Sasuke?" he repeated, utterly confused. What was going on? And then he heard the words, uttered so quietly that he _had _to ask them be repeated again, even if he heard them clearly the first time. Because he couldn't believe his ears.

"Say that again?"

"Move in with me." Naruto pulled away enough to look at Sasuke's face, taking in the man's expression. To another person who didn't know the Uchiha quite so well like Naruto, he would have seemed stoic.

But Naruto knew better.

In Sasuke's eyes, there was a slight plea, a need, for the blond. It was a sign that Sasuke had taken down one of the walls surrounding his heart and that he was slightly vulnerable-_afraid_-of the possible outcomes. Yet he was doing it anyway.

"Is this what you were saving up for? A new home for us to live in together?" He could see the vulnerability cloud, hidden beneath a facade of annoyance and he couldn't help but smile at the Uchiha's predictable actions.

"Idiot, stop avoiding the question and ans-" Before Sasuke could finish his sentence, he was pulled into a quick kiss, before there was one more, then another, and another. Then, with a final kiss, they parted slowly, foreheads touching like before.

"I'd love to move in with you, Sasuke."

And for the first time, in a long time, Sasuke Uchiha gave Naruto a warm and genuine smile.

-:-:-:-:-

**B**ack at Naruto's apartment which was soon to no longer house either him or his pet bird, Fumi ruffled her feathers and gave a squawk before resting her beak under her wings to sleep.

"Always two there are, no more, no less!"

-:-Chapter 02 Completed 08 June 2012-:-

**Chibi Chidori's Nonsense:**

Hello everyone! So sorry for the long wait for an update on this and my other works, but I've been terminally ill and according to doctors, I shouldn't be positive about it. BUT I refuse to let that bring me down and I shall live and finish all my works! I refuse to go down before that! Much thanks goes to Riuolo (ignore her saying that what she contributed was horrible and few; it was awesome, lovely, and a lot!), who I could not have finished this chapter without! Send her much love and thanks!

And I hope you all enjoy reading! :)

**Riuolo's A/N:**

Hi, people! Once again, it seems Chibi has done most of the work. I am a terrible, terrible person. ;-; *dodges tomatoes* Everyone bow before her!

I did write a few parts, though! Hint: they're the ones that are horrible compared to the rest. xD I hope you all enjoyed reading!


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